last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
