I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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