I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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