If that was your dad, he is hot
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
