she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
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