It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
