Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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