I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
