My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
