Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
