Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
