Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My vagina is very pro this idea
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
