I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
