His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
