i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
