he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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