I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
