She's JV to your varsity
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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