You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
