he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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