Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
