If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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