I think I am morally bankrupt
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
