to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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