I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
