everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
operation harelip BJ is a go
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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