...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
