Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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