My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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