I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
