I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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