i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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