This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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