Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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