just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
