The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
