I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
