Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
