You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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