I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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