What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
