K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
