Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
