He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
