I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
