why didn't you poke me back
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
