i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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