oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
