i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She bit a glass in half.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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