Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
