I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
When are your genitals available?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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